Chapter 2: Important things

There is a small lake very close to our house. In the mornings, when I drink coffee on our terrace, I look at the lake and think about fish. I wonder if they ever think about us? Sammy says fish are dumb. For me it seems there is a lot on their minds and they are smart like us, they just don't say.






Drinking coffee always makes me want to go to the toilet. It's the only place where I am completely on my own. People are often afraid of being alone. Especially when they get older. That is why their digestion gets slower too.
I don't think that fish are ever lonely, they all take a dump together.





Sometimes an asshole sticks to a pretty lady and a prince to a frog or a scientist to a baker or a cleaning woman even.
This is called love. It's like glue. Sammy doesn't believe in love. He thinks love is fiction like Santa Claus. Santa who doesn't bring any presents.




I am not sure if it is love or global warming, but some people experience sudden seismic changes when meeting certain other human being of the opposite or even the same sex. As it usually only happens once in a human lifetime I made a scheme, so you could recognize it when it happens to you. I recommend you to print it out. Pay special attention on the trajectory of the liver.



Our next door neighbour, Reece, who is very well educated, said that the scheme is way too complicated for her. She figured that this experience is a great risk to our health and that people actually need simple things. She also said that we have to look for good things you don't see. The more good things you have the better.




I often used to hear our good neighbours fighting and screaming. Then they made some babies. They scream even louder. Sammy wants to make babies too. I think it's a brilliantly good idea only I haven't yet decided of which sex I am. So I'm not sure if that would be possible in a few chapters.